The Mallet Men
Round the bend and down the drive;
Oh, it’s good to be alive!
Thursday afternoon and all is set
- unless of course it’s thoroughly wet.
I know where and exactly when
to join the band of The Mallet Men.
Why do we play this lunatic sport ?
What motive do we have for such competitive cavort?
Why do we wish to massacre our foes?
Well, Croquet has this appeal I suppose.
Winning ruthlessly with panache is our yen
and ‘no mercy’ the motto of The Mallet Men.
There are finer things to enjoy of course.
There’s the hospitality we receive, and that’s the source
of all the things that we appreciate most.
So join me please in drinking a toast
to these kind hosts and their ladies, before my pen
scribes yet another wretched verse for The Mallet Men!