Whatever has happened to my hairdresser?
She has got herself locked and down, bless her.
So I am starting to display a hairy mane
And it is not something I wish to explain.
I am also now obliged to give myself a furtive snip,
But unfortunately it is not only the bleeding hair that I clip;
Speaking of which, I am engineering an unwanted loss of blood,
Starting a steady flow, though still short of a flood.
Aiming for an artistic result I am trying to create a quiff,
Applying a wide variety of lotions to keep the hair stiff.
I am also attempting to steer the hair clear of the neck,
Since I don’t wish to appear just a hirsute wreck.
But I long for a return to normality again,
As I am finding all this a bit of a strain...